Lite Typing, Contributions, and Undressed Patients...
“Save the [resumes]. Save the world.” I must admit that I have made some mistakes on my resume. Who am I kidding??? I don’t make mistakes! Here is the last installment of this abysmal resume series. But hey, if I have to suffer through this, I am dragging as many with me as possible.
- Write a resume longer than one paragraph. Yes, it does take more than one paragraph 10 lines, 1 paragraph, 3 ¾ inches wide to list your education, work experience, and skills. Plus, it just looks plain silly.
- “Lite typing” – Ever thought of using spel chek?
- Empty bullet point… what is missing? No really, what is missing? That has kept me up for weeks!
- “To obtain a full-time position in a company where I am able to utilize my skills, with the opportunity for” – for what???? Again, I need to know. It’s killin’ me!
- Computer Skills – Internet… yeah, right!! Let’s be honest – my 9 year old son has that skill!
- “I am strive for continued excellence” – Wow, self evident!
- “To obtain a challenging position with a reputable company with which I can expand my knowledge and contribute my experience.” Contribute your experience??? Is that tax deductible?
- There are some things that just should not be included on any resume. Saying that you “undressed patients” – come on! It doesn’t matter what job you had! And ending your resume, the last sentence that will leave a lasting impression with a prospective employer, with “after raising my children, I returned to nursing” will definitely leave the wrong impression!!!
Less resumes, but yet more worthless words later…
posted by Marc @ 9:00 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Can I just say on the last one----eeewweeee! My thought is this--do you really need to fill this position that badly?
Marsha
Come on now. I am 67. I have had 47 years with the same orgination. I'm out because my mental computer has a virus called "forgtflness". See there I can't even spell the illness. And lastly, I am so old that most businesses will not hire me because I cannot find that "key" you have pictured on my piano". My wife told me, "stupid: that key is on an electric typewriter."
I have no chance with my resumay.
Did he just say "orgi-nation"? Ever wonder what a 67 year old man has on his mind? Wonder no more!
Once more I must add----eeewwweee!! There is just some information you DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about your parents--because, let's face it, I was immaculately conceived--how about you?
M
Please, you know what I always say. "On the kitchen floor, slick with EVOO!"
YUCK!!!!!!I don't know about the two of you heathens, but I am from pure and holy stock!!!
Marsha
EVOO, hum.... I never really thought about using that before. Maybe we could call it an anointing!
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